4 Wounds of Unforgiveness

A few years ago, I was angry at someone. Like nuclear-fuming-mad kinda anger. This person deeply hurt someone I love (think backstabbing, double-crossing, malicious lies, etc.).

I also believed this anger was justified, even righteous. Because the offending person was a fellow believer who was knowingly sinning.

But soon after, the Holy Spirit revealed something to me: my anger had decayed into the sin of unforgiveness.

And in today’s verse, Jesus was clear: unforgiveness is most definitely a sin. And a grievous one at that.

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Mark 11:25 (NIV)

4 Wounds From the Sin of Unforgiveness

One: Unforgiveness denies the cross.

When we don’t forgive, we forget that Jesus died on the cross to forgive all our sins. Disciples are “grace extenders,” sharing the same forgiveness God’s given us.

Two: Unforgiveness turns into bitterness.

Holding onto anger for a long time can make us feel bitter. It’s like carrying a heavy backpack that gets heavier every day. And this bitterness toxifies into more sin.

Three: Unforgiveness keeps a record of wrongs.

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul tells us that godly love keeps no record of wrongs. We don’t live to ruminate on transgressions, but to dwell on what is noble, just, and good. We each have a call to the ministry of reconciliation, not revenge.

Four: Unforgiveness hurts us.

As the saying goes, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. But really, we’re the ones who end up in the spiritual ER. It can make us stressed, angry, and even sick.

Studies even show it creates higher levels of PTSD symptoms, worsens depression, hurts relationships, lowers marital satisfaction, harms our ability to parent, and more.

4 Ways to Let Go of Unforgiveness

1. Pray for help: Ask God to help you forgive, just as he’s forgiven you. He understands how hard it can be.
2. Choose to forgive: Forgiveness is a choice we make, even when we don’t feel like it. It’s not forgetting, but it is letting go of our drive for personal revenge.
3. Let go of the hurt: This doesn’t mean what happened was okay. It means you’re not letting it control you anymore.
4. Pray for the person who hurt you: As Jesus said in Matthew 5:44, “…pray for those who persecute you…” This is hard, but it will soften your heart and set you free.

Whom do you need to forgive today?